Illusions and the Pursuit of Power

There are always good reasons people seek power and control, but very few acceptable reasons in normal events. I've worked with some strange coworkers who were consumed by this--not many, but those who were, were unusual people in a negative sense. This morning a statement about this phenom occurred to me in my groggy awakening: My back is so sore from you clawing your way over me to a higher position. I imagined fresh wounds: scrapes, pain, infection in my flesh. Of course, some were decidely sociopathic, but I'd say more were that horrible combination of narcissistic and compulsive. Strangely, I prefer the sociopaths. They are at least conscious. The unconscious clawwers are the worst for me.

The Russians are Coming

On social media today people are asking about the day JFK was assassinated--what was happening in your life if you were alive. I was in the 3rd grade and on the playground of my school. I remember the teacher up on a little hill calling us all in and with urgency, that we had to hurry. On the way up to her another child said the president was shot. They sent us home to be with our families. I worried about my dad. Did that mean he was in danger, too?

911 and the After World

I was working in a state mental hospital that morning and when I arrived my coworkers were already following the story. Our patients had been, too, and many of them were already very fragile. They were quite distressed. I ran their debriefing and when we were done, we found that the 2nd tower was down. I don't remember much of what happened next and after all these years the few things that stand out are those memories, going to a conference in Hilton Head where some clinical first responders came in from NYC and discovering some time later that children thought the recurring images of the towers were different buildings all over the world. They thought the world was coming down one building at a time. For me, that was the most powerful impression: believing that suddenly the world was collapsing.